


Out of Sight...

by Purplefern



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Canon Temporary Character Death, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/M, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I don't know if I'm using these tags right, I'm Bad At Titles, Post-Season/Series 04, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Repressed Memories, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Zane is a mess, Zane should talk about his problems but he doesn't, let me know if you think this needs any other tags, major references to Decoded, origin story of the Ninjigma from Decoded, repressed trauma, zangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:03:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27897262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplefern/pseuds/Purplefern
Summary: Even weeks after getting his new body, Zane is plagued by the memory of his death against the Overlord. He doesn't want to burden his family with his problems, so he searches for a solution.
Relationships: P.I.X.A.L./Zane (Ninjago)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 19





	Out of Sight...

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Nightmare Doctor](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14133888) by [fishoutofcamelot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishoutofcamelot/pseuds/fishoutofcamelot). 



> As mentioned, Zane getting stuck in a loop of his death and a lot of the ways I describe it was totally inspired by  The Nightmare Doctor , which is honestly one of my favorite stories that touches on Zane's death.

The memory was back again. Zane had thought that since the majority of his code had fully integrated into his new titanium form that it would no longer bother him, but it would appear that he was wrong. 

It would creep up on him suddenly, the same code line of memory of the Golden Master. Whenever it did his breathing would pick up despite the action being wholly unnecessary in his new body, warning signs would flash across his vision with no discernible cause, and he could feel the power of the Golden Weapons in him again. No matter how much he logically knew that was impossible, he could still have that feeling of too much power flooding his body, his core. The phantom pain emerging from his chest and spreading out through his limbs just like on that fateful day. He would remember vividly the lonely helplessness of dying to save the city, feeling like he was by himself even though he was back home on the Bounty with his family. 

He hitched a sobbing breath as the loop neared its end once again, always the same conclusion, always that same moment of bursting pain, and being all by himself against the greatest evil Ninjago had even known, the fear, and he was dying, he was  _ dying  _ and he was all alone--

“Zane, are you alright?” Pixal’s voice split through the illusion, as she popped up in his vision, and he sighed in relief as the cycle was ended prematurely. 

“I’m fine, Pixal,” he reassured her, giving a watery smile. And he  _ was  _ now that she was here and he wasn’t so alone after all. 

She didn’t seem completely convinced, however, pulling up a number of virtual logs in front of her and pursing her lips. “That is the fourth time something like this has occurred. I am beginning to worry.” 

“I’m  _ fine,  _ Pixal,” he stressed, internally relieved that it appeared that Pixal could not see the memory itself -- only the effects of it. He didn’t want to burden her with his problems -- she was having plenty of her own with losing her entire body. 

He wasn’t sure she entirely believed him, but there was little else she could do on the matter. She could only affect his systems with his permission, after all. He was certain that this issue would clear up on its own, anyway. 

  
  


Contrary to his hopes, this went on for some weeks. He considered himself fortunate that this… error had never occurred around his brothers. They would have only worried about it unnecessarily. Of course, that didn’t stop Pixal from worrying. 

“Zane, this is starting to become out of hand,” Pixal said when the line of code had interfered with his systems once again while he was alone in his room. Well, “alone”, relatively speaking. He was never truly alone these days.

And he was glad for that, he couldn’t help but think, as he struggled to control his unneeded raspy breathing, as the issue occurred again. He was too preoccupied trying to regain control of himself to reply to her concern with his usual “I’m fine”. She held a projected hand out to him in distress, then frustratedly put it down again when she could not reach out to him as she wanted. “I wish you would let me scan your system to find out what this problem is,” she huffed frustratedly, though her eyes shone with worry. 

He couldn’t let her do that. These feelings, this pain, the fear that came with this occurrence, were his to deal with. She was already suffering enough without being exposed to such a thing. But she was correct that this was becoming a large problem, and it didn’t seem to be getting better on its own. 

“There’s no need for that,” he deflected levely, “I have determined the cause of these incidents. There is some line of recurrent code that periodically impacts my systems,” it was enough of the truth that he felt alright telling her. And he was starting to admit that he didn’t know how to deal with it on his own. In his old body he had a memory switch, which he may have been able to tweak, but in this new form everything was much more complex. It was far more software and digital heavy (after all, his old body had been crafted to be so similar to that of a human’s that one couldn’t tell the difference), and he was embarrassed to admit he still wasn’t as knowledgeable of the ins and outs of it yet. “I do not know what to do to fix this,” he finally admitted, shrugging sadly. Pixal gave him a sympathetic look, and he began to wonder if she could help him. So he explained, “This body has far more technical software than my previous one. Do you have any ideas what to do with this?” 

She thought on the matter for a moment, looking through schematics and lines of code of his inner workings. “Well,” she suggested, “if it is a piece of corrupted data, I could perhaps help you delete it.” 

The paralyzing fear conflicted with the intense love for his family that were both contained by the same memory. Even with the pain it caused, he wasn’t certain he wanted to lose that aspect of it. He also thought about his father removing his memories of his death, and how much more pain that had caused, and he shuddered at the thought of doing such a thing again. “No!” he replied, more brusquely than he meant to be with Pixal. “Sorry,” he immediately apologized upon seeing her surprised face at his vehement reply. More composedly, he said, “No, we cannot. I believe it is tied to other important functions, and I do not wish to accidentally damage them in the process.” 

She hummed to herself thoughtfully, before suggesting another idea, “Well, in that case, you could put the corrupted data into an encrypted lockbox. It will hold the data while preventing it from affecting the rest of your systems. You would be unable to access it, however.”

He thought about the shuddering breaths and horrible moments of pain, deciding that he liked the sound of not accessing the memories any further. “That sounds like an excellent plan, Pixal,” he replied, nodding, “Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you.” 

She smiled, her projection blushing lightly before turning serious once again, “This wouldn’t repair the code, though,” she warned, “It only prevents it from affecting the rest of you in the meantime.” 

“That will suffice for the moment,” he reassured her, while knowing that he didn’t plan on “fixing” it anyway, “I can repair it when I am more aware of how it’s connected to the rest of my systems,” he said the white lie with confidence, and that appeared to be enough for her. 

So, with some of Pixal’s help, he locked up the painful memory, burying it in a hidden memory file and layering that with encryption so that it could not be accessed. At least, not without considerable effort and intimate knowledge of himself and his family. And that, he considered, was that. The memory file ceased to intrude on his daily life, and his family was none the wiser. His death and all the suffering of that moment was buried so deep in his growing maze of files that he soon forgot about the locked-away memory entirely. Which he was certain was for the best. 

**Author's Note:**

> Zane dealing with his problems be like: [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KSBEChzpMM ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KSBEChzpMM) (but only like the first half of the song)
> 
> Yeeaah, if you've never seen Decoded, it's surprisingly intense for a recap of a Lego cartoon. Basically the "villain" of the recap is Zane's repressed trauma of dying against the Overlord, which was put into a puzzle box. I got sudden inspiration to write a little thing about the formation of this "ninjigma", so typed this up. Hope you liked it, leave kudos, comments, etc, thanks for reading.


End file.
